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SHOWBIZ TONIGHT

Top 10 Reality TV Shows of the Year; Wackiest Celebrity Commercials

Aired December 26, 2013 - 23:00:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


A.J. HAMMER, HOST: Tonight on the SHOWBIZ countdown, the "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials". Brad Pitt`s Chanel No. 5 add sparks some hilarious parodies all over the place. Brad`s ex, Jennifer Aniston, really had us in stitches with her Smart Water commercial. But what`s the number one "Wackiest Celebrity Commercial"?

Hello and thanks for watching. I`m A.J. Hammer. We are getting to the "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials" a little later, but first we are counting down the "Top Ten Reality Shows of the Year". And, you know, it still blows my mind how many people year after year are still willing to put their lives on display for the whole world to see. We have seen it all at this point: Love affairs, knock down drag out fights.

But you know, thankfully for millions of people, reality TV is all about showcasing musical talent. And now the competition is really tougher than ever. "American Idol" not the only singing show in town anymore. You`ve got "The Voice," you`ve got "The X Factor," all really giving everyone a run for the reality TV money. And that brings us to number ten on the SHOWBIZ Countdown.

Obama versus Romney. Halle Berry`s ex boyfriend versus her current one. Rihanna versus her better judgment. Yes, 2012 was stocked with competition. But perhaps the fiercest of them all, the battle between the big network singing shows. NBC`s powerhouse "The Voice" versus Fox`s struggling "The X Factor" versus the reigning champion "American Idol" in a three-way battle for singing show supremacy.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KIM SERAFIN, SENIOR EDITOR, "IN TOUCH WEEKLY": It really is a very fierce competition atmosphere.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This show is just getting better and better.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: In its second year on the air, "The Voice" perhaps made the most noise in the showdown.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SERAFIN: It seems like "The Voice" right now is the show that is kind of the one everyone is talking about.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Elimination night!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: And "The Voice" spent much of the year finding ways to eliminating its rivals. It shocked "American Idol" by swiping the "Idol`s" annual Emmy nomination in the Outstanding Reality Show Competition category. "Idol" had been nominated in that category every year for the past nine years.

SERAFIN: Instead, this year it was "The Voice" that got that nomination, not "American Idol."

HAMMER: "The Voice" also found a way to rain on "The X Factor`s" parade by scheduling a special episode to air on the very night "X Factor" was set to debut its new superstar judges, Britney Spears and Demi Lovato, and "The Voice" beat "The X Factor" that night in the ratings.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Some will rise to the occasion and some will fall under the pressure.

HAMMER: And it sure was a tough year for "The X Factor." Its ratings lag far behind its singing show competitors.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You guys are crazy.

HAMMER: As for "American Idol," it is still the biggest singing show on the block in terms of ratings. But with the competition looming large in the rearview mirror, "Idol" is shaking things up for 2013. Judges Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler are out. In are new judges Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj, who started making headlines for their alleged backstage feuds before the new season has even aired.

RANDY JACKSON, "AMERICAN IDOL" JUDGE: "American Idol" is the gold standard now of singing competitions.

HAMMER: In a new promo for "Idol`s" upcoming new season, judge Randy Jackson has a message for the new kids on the block.

(CROSSTALK)

HAMMER: Oh, it is so on in 2013. When this singing show showdown could get even more fierce. May the best singing show win.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: And you know these shows don`t waste any time getting down to the nitty-gritty with great new talent emerging, and, of course, the ever changing superstar judging panels. It`s really no wonder we can`t tune away.

And with us in New York tonight to help count them down, Stuart Brazell, co-founder of the Dirtyandthirty.com. Joining me from Atlanta, comedian Craig Shoemaker. Great to have you both here. Let`s go, Craig. These singing competitions are so addictive. But for very different reasons. Do you think ...

CRAIG SHOEMAKER, COMEDIAN: Yes.

HAMMER: It is the battling judges that`s really bringing people in? Do you think it actually is the search for talents in these amazing contestants that is the big draw?

SHOEMAKER: To me, the draw is the chair on "The Voice." It reminds me of Internet dating. It`s like -- you just picture this thing, you turn around and go whoa, that`s not your profile picture. I think that the prop guy should actually put an engine in there and spin them around really fast, like they are in the gravitron.

HAMMER: I think -- I think you`re on to something there. I actually think a great thing for dating is if you could have a big buzzer and an ex kind of like we see on "America`s Got Talent." Hey, Stuart for you, does one singing show stand out more than the others now?

STUART BRAZELL, DIRTYANDTHIRTY.COM: You know, I`ve been a diehard "Idol" fan since forever. So of course I will be tuning in. But I`ve been so surprised by "The Voice." The show is amazing, the judges are incredible, and I really think the true talent lies with "The Voice." They get the best singers hands down.

HAMMER: Yes, I have to say of all of the competition shows, I`ve been most invested with the talent on "The Voice," and I love the fact that they are discovering this talent not because of how they look, but because of how good they are.

Well, let`s move now from singing battles to some real life squabbles. Plenty of those on reality TV.

Coming in at number nine on our SHOWBIZ Countdown of the "Top Ten Reality Shows of the Year", Bravo TV`s big hit "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," how do you ignore this? Over the top glitz, glamour, and of course, all the constant clashes make these housewives must-see TV. Let`s watch them.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, I know I`ve apologized to you a few times. I have no filter and I do say things that I probably shouldn`t say.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That was really uncalled for.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, somebody`s crying.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I know you did, but ....

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Uh-oh.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Call it out.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Somebody`s crying.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Why are you saying that?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Because she is crying. She feels bad.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: But you don`t have to scream it.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Call it out? What does that mean?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That means shut the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] up.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: I mean every time I see that, I`m just like -- this is not fake, they are not making that up. This drama is real, these women are over the top. But Craig, isn`t that what the fans love about this show?

SHOEMAKER: I just like looking at their eyebrow plucking. And it looks like they want to be sponsored by Nike. I can`t believe the woman is crying and her face still doesn`t move.

HAMMER: Well, it is "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." Although it seems to be spreading throughout the entire franchise. We are seeing it all over the place.

SHOEMAKER: Well, they`ve seen more knives than a Swiss army, these faces.

BRAZELL: Oh, come on, now.

SHOEMAKER: What do you mean ahhh? What do you mean ahhh?

HAMMER: Oh Stuart, are you saying that`s not a nice thing to say, or are you saying he is not telling the truth? I think I know.

BRAZELL: Rich people have hard lives too, don`t they?

HAMMER: Yes, you know what, your brow can be furrowed, I understand. OK.

From real housewives to how about some wannabe wives and husbands? ABC`s "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette." They are the number eight spot in our SHOWBIZ countdown of the "Top Ten Reality Shows". Of course, this is the show where we have groups of contestants competing to win the heart of one eligible single. And they even share date night. Let`s watch some.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Open it, open it, open it.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Tia. Roslin. Alicia. Torry. Christina. And Ashley H.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Look how excited they are. I have so many friends who get caught up in all of that. But look, knowing "The Bachelor" and knowing "The Bachelorette" as we do, you can kind of almost predict the outcome each season. However, Stuart, we still have people tuning in, even knowing that maybe things aren`t going to last. Maybe there won`t be a marriage. Do you think we are still hopefully romantic about these things?

BRAZELL: I think that we are all so in love with love and we are all hoping to see the prince charming situation, but sadly very few of these engagements actually go through to a marriage. So a big congrats is in order for bachelorette Ashley, who did get married. Go, girl.

HAMMER: Yes, go girl. And we wish them all the best. We do hope it lasts, if for no other reason than perhaps it will restore some credibility to "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette." But look, people are tuning in anyway. All right, Stuart, Craig.

SHOEMAKER: They are too good looking, that`s what I say.

HAMMER: That`s exactly right. As are...

SHOEMAKER: We need to see--

HAMMER: Please stay right there. Because we are just getting this thing rolling. It`s our top ten countdown of the biggest reality TV shows of the year. It is impossible to talk reality TV without talking about the Kardashians.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: My earring is gone! My diamond earring came off in the ocean.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Kim, there`s people that are dying.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is your suite?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What if I`m too heavy for him. I feel so bad.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I know that we fight from time to time, but let`s have a great last few days on our vacation.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: When you think about it, the Kardashian clan has really redefined reality TV. We have seen them fall in and out of love, have some babies, also some pretty major fights. But have the guys on "Jersey Shore" unseated the reigning royals of reality TV? Think about it. They went from fist pumping to rehab. And now diaper duty. Which will be the number one reality TV show of the year? This is SBT, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.

All right, check this out, there hasn`t been a single year since the 21st century began that our number seven top reality show hasn`t been on TV. "Big Brother." It`s one of the grand daddies of reality. It`s been on for 12 straight years. We still can`t get enough of the 24/7 fly on the wall access to all that drama.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Entertain me.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Go ahead.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hit me with a lie.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hit me with what ...

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Why? Why? Why? Why?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Because I love being entertained and this is entertainment right here.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You are all day long.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Because you ain`t got nothing.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: All day long.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That`s the only straw you`ve got? Your one little leg ain`t got nothing to stand on.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nothing what? You`re the one that looks a little bit scared there, buddy.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You`ve never been in confrontation before?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I think it is hard to get everything on there. Trying to go with something that`s within your limits of getting it done. And think about cleaning up or throwing up, I`m not sure which one.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Time`s up.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Yes, it`s making me hungry too. Those tasty creations on "Top Chef" are so good, they actually make me want to lick the TV sometimes. I`m not kidding. Just me? OK. Well, anyway, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT is naming "Top Chef" No. 6 on our "Top Ten Reality Shows of the Year".

We are now halfway to revealing our No. 1 pick for top reality TV show of the year, but right now we are up to No. 5 on our SHOWBIZ countdown. It`s Donald Trump`s "Celebrity Apprentice."

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

PENN GILLETTE: I never felt more set up in my life.

DONALD TRUMP: I am going to fire two people tonight.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Don`t ruin your (EXPLETIVE DELETED) image and your (EXPLETIVE DELETED) (INAUDIBLE).

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When you (EXPLETIVE DELETED) with me or disrespect me, it`s on.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Who else but Donald Trump can say the words, "You`re fired," right to the faces of some very famous people? "Celebrity Apprentice" has proven to be the only reality game show that brings out the ugly in some our favorite stars, all for charity, though. But what keeps fans coming back for more? Back with me now, Stuart Brazell, co-founder of the Dirtyandthirty.com, and comedian Craig Shoemaker.

All right, Stuart, I`m starting with you on this one. What do you think it is? Why has the show become such a success? Is it the celebrity throwdowns we get to see? Is it Donald Trump`s hair? What`s the formula?

BRAZELL: Oh, AJ, I think it`s all of the above. And then I think you have these celebrities that from their professional experience should know better than to behave the way that they do and go at each other, but they make complete idiots of themselves, and it is fabulously entertaining.

HAMMER: I do love seeing them with their guard down and saying things that we really wouldn`t expect from them.

But now from celebrities facing off to the most famous reality show family. This comes in at No. 4 on our top ten reality show countdown. It`s the Kardashian family. Their reality shows just seem to multiply, don`t they? First of course we had "Keeping up With the Kardashians," then we had "Kourtney and Kim Take Miami." Eventually sister Khloe got her own reality show with her husband, Lamar.

Let`s watch a bit of that.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Surprise! We came to surprise you.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I`m so excited that Kourtney and Kim are here. And I`m also seeing a private plane in the background, and I`m praying my mom would have respected my wishes and not go through Mr. Cuban.

(CROSSTALK)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I just did (INAUDIBLE) a business associate.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: His name better not be Marc Cuban.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: OK, always so much drama going on with the Kardashian clan. Craig, what`s the deal? Why are people continuing to keep up with the Kardashians? Because there is no stopping them apparently.

SHOEMAKER: I think they should have a hybrid show called pimping my Kardashians. Just have unnecessary surgeries and keep adding on to them every week.

HAMMER: No, I think we could leave it at that. I think that makes perfectly good sense.

SHOEMAKER: Pimp my Kardashians, or either that or surviving the Kardashians.

BRAZELL: I would totally watch that show.

HAMMER: You put their name on anything, people are watching.

And a lot of people are wondering if we`re going to get to see yet another Kim Kardashian made for reality TV wedding now that she of course is hot and heavy with Kanye West. Stuart, are you definitely setting your DVR for that, hoping to figure out some way in advance to know that this is going to happen, you will be right there?

BRAZELL: Oh, A.J., I hope someone has to crash the wedding so they can pull a Taylor Swift on Kanye, someone has got to say, no, don`t do it. That would be a memorable moment.

HAMMER: I mean, Craig, we all felt kind of duped by the last wedding, yet we somehow have let her slide. Yes, we gave her a hard time for a long time about the 72-day marriage. But now, we are still with her. Why?

SHOEMAKER: I don`t know. I guess because we never want to live that life, so I guess we feel better about ourselves. My marriage lasted longer than that, 73 days.

HAMMER: Nice, Craig. You should be very proud. All right, I want you and Stuart to stay right where you are. The battle for No. 1 is still on on our SHOWBIZ countdown of the "Top Ten Reality Shows of the Year". And we`ve seen some pretty big personalities take over the spotlight this year.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Put your legs in and out like this. One, two, three, four.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I was doing all these moves, the bump, the shake, everything.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" took reality TV by storm with her pageants, her tiaras and her big personality. She and her family have made quite an impression on us. But could the newcomer possibly unseat reality TV vets like the cast of "Jersey Shore?" Just when we thought we`d seen it all, "Jersey Shore" actually saved the best for the last season.

But what would be the No. 1 reality show of the year? This is SBT, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I got the runs. I`m serious, what am I going to do? I`m going to run and then I am going to like, I have to go to the bathroom. What am I going to do, knock on someone`s house and say can I use your bathroom, that is so gross.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (INAUDIBLE).

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Running a 5k is hard, but it`s harder when I got the runs. Hon, get up.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I`ll put my butthole on your face.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Always so classy, aren`t they? Putting the real in "Real Housewives." Got to love Teresa in all her glory there. Just one of the reasons we are naming "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" No. 3 in our top 10 reality shows of the year.

Well, we are in the home stretch now of our reality TV countdown, and now we are taking you from "Real Housewives of New Jersey" to the gang who introduced us to fist pumping and gym, tan, laundry. It`s our No., 2 reality show, it`s "Jersey Shore."

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Due to my newly singleness, MVP is back in effect. Looking FTD and trying to get chicks on the DTF. I might have made that rhyme.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: All of a sudden, me and Vinnie look over and we see Paula is here.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: You remember when this started a few years ago? They came on the scene with all this controversy. Somehow, they managed to win the hearts of a whole lot of people. And now it looks like the "Shore" crew is actually growing up. Well, maybe.

Let me bring back Stuart Brazell and comedian Craig Shoemaker. So Craig, we have seen some pretty amazing transformations on "The Jersey Shore," but would you ever have imagined, when this show first debuted, that these guys would actually still be bona fide TV stars six seasons later?

SHOEMAKER: Isn`t it sad these are the poets of our generation? We`ll look back at this some day, and now Snooki has a child. Imagine -- she is so greased up and oiled up, that must have been the fastest child birth in history. It`s like 30 seconds. Push, I got it.

HAMMER: Oh, let`s just hope they don`t show that on TV.

But now it brings us to our No. 1 reality TV show of the year. Could there be any other? "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" is at the top.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do you know who Elvis is?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Elvis is -- he`s Santa Claus`s helper.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Santa Claus`s helper?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Elvis helps Santa Claus make toys.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You`re awesome. By the way.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I know this because my daddy told me.

I`m putting on my glasses. So hold up a sec.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: A lot of people are still trying to figure out how, but the 6- year-old pageant sensation and her family truly surprised a lot of people and basically took over the reality TV world in 2012, Stuart. For you, what is Honey Boo Boo`s secret to reality TV fame?

BRAZELL: A.J., I think that you cannot help but love this little girl, Honey Boo Boo. She says some of the craziest things, but she is filled with so much love. There is so much love in her entire family. She always keeps us entertained, and you never know what is going to come out of her mouth.

HAMMER: Yes, and that`s the thing. And I think a lot of people, initially you tune in because there is a train wreck factor, but then you realize, you know, this family has a lot of heart. And they are just living life and loving each other and being a family. I think that has so much to do with it.

All right, now, Craig, we had a lot of reality veterans on our countdown tonight, but really, could anything but this newcomer have been No. 1?

SHOEMAKER: Well, Honey Boo Boo, if you have kids, it is not the greatest show in the world. I`m like, put that down, they`re like, I`m just trying to be like Honey Boo Boo. They`re eating this horrible food. It`s not easy. I actually thought the show was about a husband who made a mistake.

HAMMER: I don`t think that was the premise they were going for. It`s a good thought.

SHOEMAKER: That`s right. It could kind of could be seen as that, though.

HAMMER: Well, Stuart, Craig, thank you both for being with us and counting down our top ten biggest reality shows of the year.

We have got another SHOWBIZ countdown tonight. Let me warn you, it may make you laugh so hard, you will cry. It`s the "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials" ever.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BRAD PITT, ACTOR: It is not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on. The world turns and we turn with it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Brad Pitt had a lot of people wondering if this was actually a "Saturday Night Live" skit. But no, this was the real thing. Brad`s odd ad for Chanel No. 5 has some tough competition. His famous ex, Jennifer Aniston, raised some eyebrows with her intentionally funny plug for Smart Water. It is a hilarious battle for No. 1, but who will come out on top?

This is SBT, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JENNIFER ANISTON, ACTRESS: Oh, God. Oh! So much better. Oh, how are my little triplets doing. You must be so thirsty. Oh my Lord.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Right now on the SHOWBIZ Countdown, the "Wackiest Celebrity Commercial".

Jennifer Aniston`s fake baby bump makes us all do a double take. Aniston`s wild Smart Water ad had us in stitches, but can she beta her famous ex Brad Pitt for his weird and wacky Chanel No. 5 ad? You know, the one that launched dozens of spoofs? And what would be the No. 1 "Wackiest Celebrity Commercial" of them all?

SHOWBIZ TONIGHT continues right now.

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HAMMER: Welcome back to SHOWBIZ TONIGHT. Thanks for watching. I`m A.J. Hammer.

Tonight in the SHOWBIZ countdown, the "Wackiest Celebrity Commercial". We know stars often get big bucks to star in TV commercials, but some are so wacky and out there, they just defy explanation, and sometimes they defy logic, as is the case with the commercial that is No. 1 on our list, and actually inspired us to do this countdown.

We will be getting to that one a little bit later, but first let`s kick things off at number ten, Kirstie Alley as the Poise fairy, also known as the light bladder leakage fairy.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KIRSTIE ALLEY, ACTRESS: A little leakster on the laughing? I know, it`s not funny. But it`s so not a big deal. One in three women have LBL. That`s like -- like a ton. Just use Poise instead of your period pads. Because your period pads are for your period, period.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thanks.

ALLEY: Now get out there and find me a hot guy.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Poise liners work better than period liners. Want to stay fresh and dry? Give Poise a try.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Yes, that`s right, the former "Cheers" star appears as a fairy to help women with their bladder leakage issues in these commercials. Anything wrong with that? Well, to help us with this countdown, we are bringing out the big guns tonight. Here in New York, political comedian and CNN.com contributor Dean Obeidallah. In Hollywood, advice columnist and multimedia maven, B. Scott. Also in Hollywood tonight, celebrity publicist, Kita Williams.

Dean, off to you first. You got to admit, there are only a few women who can actually pull an ad like that off. Kirstie does not embarrass easily. So do you think she kind of gets a pass for saying yes to Poise?

DEAN OBEIDALLAH, COMEDIAN: I think she will say yes to anything. Jenny Craig, Pier One, this, next it`s herpes, maybe a bail bond commercial. Who knows what`s next. But as a comedian, if someone loses bladder control because of my comedy, I`m proud and I will buy you that product. So it happens frequently, I will buy you the product.

HAMMER: A perfect marriage in marketing. Well, even funnier, Kirstie did an interview with advertising aid (ph). She said she didn`t even have the condition that she is talking about, light bladder leakage, but she was actually so excited she was going to get to wear those wings. So B. Scott, are you saying good move for Kirstie or do you think should she have passed on Poise?

B. SCOTT, ADVICE COLUMNIST: I think she should have passed on it. Oh my goodness, all this leaking and periods. This is a little too much for me. It makes me all just discombobulated. I don`t know where to go. I`m like, ahhh.

HAMMER: Well, that`s why she has the product to help you out there. I mean, that`s what it`s for. But let me off of this.

SCOTT: It made me feel awkward.

HAMMER: We move now from leaky bladders to digestion dilemmas. Coming in at number nine on the countdown, Jamie Lee Curtis, who pitches the, shall we say, digestive benefits of Activia in commercials like this one.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JAMIE LEE CURTIS, ACTRESS: Here is my morning routine. Got to start the day off right.

Wardrobe. Cute. Then new Activia breakfast blend. A great way to help start the day. Creamy, low fat yogurt with brains and yummy breakfast flavors like apple cinnamon. It`s hardy, with twice the protein of regular low fat yogurt. And it helps regulate your digestive system. Our morning routines are important, aren`t they? New Activia breakfast blend.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: And of course, we have all seen these ads, but it is really the hilarious spoof on "Saturday Night Life" with Kristen Wiig as Jamie Lee that truly takes the yogurt cake. Let`s watch that.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I never dreamed yogurt could change my -- oh.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I know that look, Robby. I know that look.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK, let`s cut, we`ll cut, we`ll cut.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, no. I`m fine. I fought it off.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are you sure, sweetheart? Because it`s OK if you`re not. The set of an Activia commercial is a no-judgment zone. We are grown adults, can just poop themselves willy nilly and feel proud of it. You know what? I killed this Activia, can I get another one?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There you go.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: I love that. And Jamie Lee Curtis has said she is very proud of the commercials, and this is much to her personality, she loves that the product helps other people. Kita, I`m thinking that Jamie Lee probably didn`t mind the spoofs at all.

KITA WILLAMS, CELEBRITY PUBLICIST: No, of course she didn`t mind the spoofs at all. I think it brings humor to the fact that you can be lactose and yogurt intolerant. I think a lot of us look at these commercials and we`re thinking, is that something that I would use? And Jamie Lee Curtis is one of our favorite actresses out there, so I think she did the yogurt digestive product justice.

OBEIDALLAH: I think it is a great product. It is a fun commercial, and it gives you energy and it helps you poop. What more could you want in this world? It`s the Red Bull of products. It`s like the crack of yogurts.

HAMMER: I guess it is. All right.

SCOTT: She just wasn`t convincing. It was like, it was like, she is like oh, this tastes good, doesn`t it? She wasn`t convincing me at all.

HAMMER: OK. A little critical of the acting. We still find it to be one of the wackiest commercials. And I`m just checking out what we have been doing here. We started with Kirstie Alley pushing bladder leakage pads, then we have Jamie Lee Curtis endorsing a yogurt with cleansing properties. So I am definitely sensing a pattern going on here. Because our number eight in our SHOWBIZ countdown of the "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials" is Lisa Rinna for Depends.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, I`m going across America to get people to try on these new Depends silhouette briefs, and today we are rocking the red carpet. Look, it`s Lisa Rinna. Lisa, hi, I know you don`t need one, but will you try these new Depends silhouette briefs for charity and prove just how great the fit is, under a fantastic dress?

LISA RINNA: Are you serious?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I`m serious.

RINNA: Sure, why not.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She`s doing it.

The best production that looks, fits and feels just like underwear.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, Lisa, who are you wearing?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She is wearing the new Depends silhouette.

We invite you to get a free sample and try one on too.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: You know, I have to tell you, I was a little surprised when I first saw that commercial, but knowing Lisa, not entirely surprised. And I should point out, she did the commercial in exchange for a six figure donation to charity. So panel, please keep that in mind as you are talking about her.

But let me go back to you on this one, Dean. For the right amount of money, do I have you doing a commercial for Depends?

OBEIDALLAH: I`ll do it for almost anything. At this point, I`m a comedian. I`ll take it for a few dollars, I`ll do a commercial. I think it is great, you know, they are making Defends kind of sexy. Next she will have like Blake Lively for arthritis. A hot kind of commercial like that. Why not make it a little bit more attractive.

HAMMER: And look at her husband, Harry Hamlin. The look on his face was just absolutely priceless. So Kita, we are doing our countdown of the wackiest commercials here. But it really is terrific marketing, because the wackiness is what people are drawn into. Whether or not they are shopping for, you know, this kind of a product or not.

WILLIAMS: Absolutely. Wacky is what`s making them pay attention. I mean, besides the Depends commercial, do you really need to do a Depends commercial for a grown-up pamper? I mean, Lisa Rinna said, hey, pay me the big bucks, money talks and you know what walks. So clearly, she`s walking to the bank with it, and the commercial is getting us talking about it right now. So it is clearly a smart marketing plan.

HAMMER: Very well done, I think. Dean, B., Kita, stay right there, because we are just getting our countdown rolling of the "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials", and leave it to the great David Hasselhoff to put his all into one of tonight`s top commercials.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That double bacon behemoth burger looks good.

DAVID HASSELHOFF, ACTOR: Girl, eat it if you want to become a big hairy reality star. Super.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: I just love this spot. The Hoff adding a lot of flavor to this Lean Pockets ad. But does he possibly stand a chance against Captain Kirk? Yes, William Shatner practically revived his career with his wacky Priceline ads. But which will be No. 1?

This is SBT, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MR. T, ACTOR: They call is the FlavorWave Turbo, and I can`t wait to get started, because my stomach is rumbling and I pity the fool that keeps Mr. T waiting.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Turning up the heat. In the No. 7 spot in the SHOWBIZ countdown of "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials", Mr. T`s FlavorWave Turbo. It is one of those late night ads that you can probably get sucked into, or worse, you end up buying ten of them. I am glad to see Mr. T on TV again. I think he looks terrific.

Welcome back to SHOWBIZ TONIGHT as we continue our countdown of the top ten "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials" ever. And for No. 6, we are going to hassle the Hoff, which is usually a no-no, but David Hasselhoff, or rather, his German accented cousin Gunther, Mr. Lean Hasselhoff, popped up in a viral ad campaign for Lean Pockets. You just got to watch it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mr. Lean here with a fashion intervention.

HASSELHOFF: If you wear that ugly sweater that makes my eyes want to puke, you will turn into an old sticky cat lady. If you wear this lovely lean green number, you will be hotter than the inside of one of these tasty babies.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Hypnotic, isn`t it? Back to our guests political comedian Dean Obeidallah, advice columnist and multi-media maven B. Scott, and also celebrity publicist Kita Williams all with us tonight. Dean, off to you, my friend. Always good to see the Hoff making fun of himself. It`s a perfect role for him.

OBEIDALLAH: This is way out there, though. I mean, come on, A.J. I mean, the accent goes from the guy from Sprockets to Sean Connery to father in the house of "The Sound of Music." It`s crazy. It makes me appreciate the videos of him on Youtube where he is drunk eating a hamburger. I`ll be quite honest with you, I`d rather watch that.

HAMMER: The only thing that was missing was Kit the Car, driving through into the middle of the kitchen, bowling everybody over. That would have been fun to me.

OBEIDALLAH: Would have loved that.

HAMMER: B. Scott, what goes through your mind when you see Gunther in that ad?

SCOTT: Oh, he just makes me want to shimmy and shake. You know, something about him, he`s like a fine wine. He just gets better with time. He can do no wrong. He is sexy. He`s such a future baby daddy.

HAMMER: Kita, I got to know, what you think of this ad? Was it a good move for the Hoff? Because again, as I said to Dean, I think any time the guy is kind of making fun of himself, which basically he is, by being on the beach right there in "Baywatch" style, I think it is a good thing.

WILLIAMS: You know, at this point, I throw my hands up as a publicist. It is a violation to me. He needs to be arrested at this point. Because his foolery at times just makes me want to strangle him. But ultimately, he looks like a new age Liberace in the ad, seriously, he does. But again--

SCOTT: I would arrest him.

WILLIAMS: -- with David Hasselhoff, you never know what to expect.

HAMMER: How can you strangle a new age Liberace? I mean, come on. All right, let`s move to another TV superstar who is not afraid to make fun of himself. This is No. 5 on our "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials" countdown. It`s the great William Shatner for Priceline.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAM SHATNER, ACTOR: You want it? You got it. You want it, baby. Just bust a move. I wanted to chill but making all of my travel arrangement was freaking me out.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Bill Shatner doing "Bust a Move." I men, that is just classic to me. He`s done so many ads for Priceline over the years, Dean. Why do you think they work so well? He`s just being classic Shatner, if you ask me.

OBEIDALLAH: Because he is committing to this 100 percent. There`s no tentativeness whatsoever. And you know what, at the end of the commercial, you know what the product is about. So I think these are actually beyond, not just wacky, I think they are great commercials. Very effective. I like them.

HAMMER: B. Scott, you want to get up there and bust a move with Bill Shatner?

SCOTT: I sure do. He is like 007. Each time you see him, he is changing it up, he`s wearing new outfits. I love everything about it.

HAMMER: You know what, I think the man is just awesome, and in my mind, can basically do no wrong.

While Shatner and the Hoff were already established in Hollywood when they made their wacky ads, but there is one ad campaign that actually turned a spokesperson into a star.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ISAIAH MUSTAFA, ACTOR: Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn`t me. But if he stopped using lady-scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he`s me.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: This was an instant classic, right? The Old Spice guy, that`s Isaiah Mustafa. And he practically became a household name because he did those commercials. You know, sometimes wacky can be a really, really good thing.

But how did Old Spice guy fare against the likes of one of Hollywood`s biggest stars, George Clooney? George tried to keep his wacky ad quiet, so the question is, where did he end up on our wackiest list of our "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials"? The race for No. 1 is getting hot.

This is SBT, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MUSTAFA: Look down, back up. Where are you? You`re on a boat with a man your man can smell like. What`s in your head? Back at me. I am. Is an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Old school became cool again when this wacky commercial started airing, and it is landing the No. 4 spot on our SHOWBIZ countdown tonight, "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials". The Old Spice ads became instantly quotable. They also made Isaiah Mustafa one of the hottest commodities in Hollywood. Isaiah even had Oprah Winfrey swooning, and she introduced him to Tyler Perry, who gave him a big movie role.

Celebrity publicist Kita Williams is back with me now, and Kita, I`m sure you are an Old Spice guy fan. Were you surprised that something so goofy could actually turn someone like Isaiah into this global sex symbol?

WILLIAMS: You know, I really wasn`t surprised that it turned him into a global sex symbol. Honestly, I`m not an Old Spice fan in terms of the scent, but it definitely made me stop and look at the commercial when I saw a nice, shirtless, chocolate, studly man on a horse. It made me think, like, wow, I would like one of those. If I have to buy Old Spice, I`ll do it too.

HAMMER: Yeah, I was going to say, I think you`re talking about the guy, not so much the cologne. But it did get the cologne on the tips of everybody`s tongue. And he happens to be a super nice guy as well.

Well, the star of our next commercial could probably charm women into buying anything, even as unsexy as a coffee maker. You know, you put George Clooney in an ad, and voila, you`ve got an instant hit.

It`s No. 3 on the SHOWBIZ countdown "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials", George Clooney`s Nespresso commercial.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Dark.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Very intense.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Balance.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Elite.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Mysterious.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: An intense body.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Delicate and smooth.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: With strong character.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Right.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Rich.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Very rich.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: (INAUDIBLE) Latin America.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Deep and sensual.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And a delicious aftertaste.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: All right, Kita, I mean, I think that is just genius marketing right there. You can sell anything with George Clooney, can`t you?

WILLIAMS: You can absolutely sell anything with George Clooney, trust me. George Clooney could do a Depends commercial and I`m paying attention. The product is going to fly off the shelf. But a Nespresso commercial, it`s brilliant for them to pay for his brand. You know, George Clooney is the sexiest man alive, still single and doing his thing.

HAMMER: Yeah. I don`t see him endorsing Depends any time soon, but hey, stranger things have happened in Hollywood.

Well, the excitement is now building as we head into the home stretch of our countdown. Two very famous exes vying for the No. 1 spot on the "Wackiest Celebrity Commercial" countdown.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANISTON: Oh, God, oh, so much better. How are my little triplets doing? You must be so thirsty. Oh, my Lord.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: I love this commercial. Jen Aniston turning her own tabloid headlines for a fodder for a wild and wacky ad for Smart Water. But could she possibly have outdone her ex, Brad Pitt? His unique Chanel No. 5 commercial sparked so many spoofs. We got Jen taking on Brad.

No. 1 revealed next. This is SBT, SHOWBIZ TONIGHT on HLN.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANISTON: Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh -- oh, so much better.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Oh, I love Jennifer Aniston. And I love that she pokes fun at herself in the nonstop rumors about baby bump sightings in this brilliant Smart Water ad. That`s why Jen and her triplets were a natural to come in at No. 2 in our top ten countdown of "Wackiest Celebrity Commercials".

And now we`re up to No. 1 in our countdown of the wackiest celebrity ads ever, and it`s actually the very same ad that inspired our countdown tonight in the first place, because when we saw it, quite frankly, we had to ask ourselves two questions. One, what the heck was that? And two, in the history of advertising, going all the way back to cave drawings, has there ever been an ad that featured as big a star that was as big a head scratcher as this one? Despite the competition from the other great ads in our countdown, the answer is simply no.

And now our pick for the No. 1 "Wackiest Celebrity Commercial" ever is Brad Pitt for Chanel No. 5.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

PITT: It is not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on. The world turns and we turn with it. Plans disappear. Dreams take over. But wherever I go, there you are. My luck, my fate, my fortune. Chanel No. 5.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Yeah, and exactly where is he looking? you know, we love Brad Pitt, but really, did we have any other choice for No. 1? Back to advice columnist and multimedia maven B. Scott. B., please do tell me the first thing that went through your mind when you first saw Brad in this add.

SCOTT: Over the years, me and Brad have developed a close imaginary relationship, and it is clear this ad represents we hit a rough patch. I felt so awkward. I`m like, what`s going on, it`s like the Twilight Zone. I don`t know what is going to happen next. Should I even be watching? It was so strange.

HAMMER: It is so strange. But of course, we can`t stop talking about it. And the second we saw the ad, we knew, hey, this was going to wind up as a "Saturday Night Live" spoof, and we quite quickly got our wish. Watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Plans disappear and dreams take over. And then dreams wake up and smile at reality. I`m sorry, is there really no script? Because I`ve been talking to myself for like two hours straight and I`m starting to sound insane. Also, I`m sorry, is it just me or do I look super homeless? That`s what you want? Rock and roll.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HAMMER: Super homeless, all right. So you know, the funny thing is, for Brad, he is laughing all the way to the bank. He got $7 million reportedly to do this thing. It`s gotten made fun of an awful lot, but look, we are still here talking about it, Dean Obeidallah. Do you think it was worth it for Brad?

OBEIDALLAH: I think so. I think people are talking about it. It`s funny. It looks like outtakes from his movie "Tree of Life." I have no idea what`s going on. I know nothing about women (INAUDIBLE) whether this thing is working. But he got 7 million bucks. Let him laugh about it. It`s great for him.

HAMMER: It`s great for him, it`s perfect that he did, and I think maybe some very smart person knew exactly what was going on and why they were doing this. When I sat down with Brad, I asked him about this commercial, and said, "are you cool with all the fun people are having with it?" And he simply said, "Fair play."

Dean Obeidallah, B. Scott, Kita Williams, thank you all. It`s been a blast counting down the wackiest ads with you all.

And thank you for watching. I`m A.J. Hammer in New York. You can watch SHOWBIZ TONIGHT Monday through Thursday, 11:00 p.m. Eastern and Pacific.

HLN continues right now.

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