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NANCY GRACE

Pregnant Army Wife Missing

Aired March 3, 2011 - 20:00:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


NANCY GRACE, HOST: Breaking news tonight, live, upscale D.C. suburbs. A beautiful 21-year-old co-ed, mother and Army wife, five months pregnant with a second child, disappears, Bethany Decker last seen by a neighbor entering the family`s apartment. Three weeks later, her black Hyundai still sits abandoned in the complex parking lot, but no Bethany.

Bombshell tonight. Bethany`s husband deploys to Afghanistan. In an odd twist, for the first time ever in their relationship, Army wife Bethany doesn`t make it to the airport to see her husband off. Was she already missing? Tonight, where is 21-year-old mother, Army wife, co-ed, Bethany?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everything is under investigation, obviously. We`ve got to look at everything. Our main thing is we want to locate Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No one has spoken to Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: (INAUDIBLE) very (INAUDIBLE)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We have a missing person.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No sign that she packed bags.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I haven`t heard from her.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Or had plans to leave.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We`d like to help, you know, the family get reunited. We want to locate Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Bethany was with her husband, Emile, on leave from his Army National Guard deployment to Afghanistan. Emile went back overseas February 2nd. Bethany was in school full-time, close to graduating from George Mason University. Bethany`s car was found in the parking lot of her Ashburn complex. Her cell phone, bank account and credit cards have not been used.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Just heartbroken.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GRACE: And tonight, live, St. Louis suburbs, a beautiful young 25- year-old bartender vanishes without a trace. Investigators hit a dead end. But then grainy surveillance video emerges showing Valerie Butler leaving a local restaurant bar. We have the video. Tonight, where is 25-year-old Valerie?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Breaking news. Police have just announced a body has been found. Is it 25-year-old missing Missouri woman Valerie Butler? Authorities waiting for positive identification.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: These are recently taken photos of Valerie Butler, who`s about 5-feet-1 and weighs 100 pounds.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I just -- I want her back. That`s my best friend.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: These are the last known images of the beautiful 25-year-old. Valerie leaves Gator`s (ph) bar about 1:00 AM with two men, men police have been trying to identify.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is 25-year-old Valerie Butler at the bar with a man police are calling a person of interest. The owner of Gator`s pub in Florisant (ph) was told Butler may have been at his establishment on a Thursday night two weeks ago, so he spent hours poring through his surveillance video. And this is what he handed over to police, the missing woman leaving with the man she was with at the bar, and another man trailing behind.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Police find Valerie`s car nearby, but no sign of Valerie. Family says there`s been no activity of any kind since Valerie goes missing, saying she fell off the face of the earth. Who would harm this beautiful 25-year-old woman?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GRACE: Good evening. I`m Nancy Grace. I want to thank you for being with us. Bombshell tonight, live, upscale D.C. suburbs. A beautiful 21- year-old co-ed, a mother, an Army wife, five months pregnant with her second child, disappears. The husband deploys to Afghanistan, and in an odd twist, for the first time ever in their relationship, Army wife Bethany does not make it to the airport to see her husband off. Tonight, where is 21-year-old mother, Army wife, co-ed Bethany?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Bethany was with her husband, Emile, on leave from his Army National Guard deployment to Afghanistan.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He wants to cooperate fully.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Emile went back overseas.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He is very concerned about Bethany`s whereabouts.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Emile Decker called Loudon County authorities this morning.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: As soon as he found out that she was missing, he did call.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We`ve got to look at everything.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He feels quite helpless being so far away.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He did have contact with Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (INAUDIBLE) haven`t heard from Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It`s so hard not knowing anything.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We haven`t heard from her.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And not being able to reach her.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Our main thing is, we want to locate Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everything is under investigation, obviously. We have a missing person, and we`ve got to look at everything. We`d like to talk to him, as well, and then try to get the opportunity to find out because he did have contact back in January with Bethany. Our main thing is, we want to locate Bethany.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GRACE: We are taking your calls live. I want to go straight out to Emily Babay with "The Washington Examiner." Emily, thank you for being with us. What can you tell us?

EMILY BABAY, "WASHINGTON EXAMINER": Thanks for having me. Bethany Decker is a 21-year-old woman. Her husband is deployed in Afghanistan. And she disappeared from her Loudon County, Virginia, apartment in January. No one`s seen her since.

GRACE: Now, let me ask you this. She already has one child, 17- month-old Ty (ph). And right now, he is with Bethany`s mother, correct?

BABAY: Yes. He is with their family.

GRACE: OK. Emily, at the time she goes missing, the 17-month-old was already over there with the mother, correct, the grandmother, right?

BABAY: Yes. She was caring for him while Bethany finished her education and was also working.

GRACE: Now, she`s five months pregnant. Is she pregnant by the husband who is in Afghanistan?

BABAY: That`s not something that police have said, but there`s no indication that that`s not the case.

GRACE: That it`s anybody else. Now, she`s a student at George Mason University. Do we have any idea what it is she`s studying? And was she a full-time student?

BABAY: We`re not sure about her status right now, but she was studying global and environmental change.

GRACE: We are taking your calls live. Take a look at this girl. The tip line, 703-777-0475. Bethany Decker seemingly vanishes into thin air. She`s got a 17-month-old baby boy, and she`s five months pregnant with her second child. She`s also an Army wife and a full-time college student. Where is Bethany?

Now, let me go to you, Alexis Weed. It`s my understanding that her neighbors saw her entering her apartment as normal, correct?

ALEXIS WEED, NANCY GRACE PRODUCER: Right, Nancy. It was either neighbors or a friends, police are saying, that saw her going into her apartment or was at her apartment on January 29th.

GRACE: But what about after that? Do we know who was the last person to see her, other than the neighbors, Alexis?

WEED: No. Just the neighbors, Nancy, or the friend.

GRACE: Joining us right now from Baltimore is a special guest. It`s Peter Byrnes, Jr. This is Bethany`s family attorney and a spokesperson. Peter, thanks for being with us. What does the family say tonight?

PETER BYRNES, JR., BETHANY`S FAMILY`S ATTORNEY (via telephone): The family -- hi, Nancy, and thanks for having me. The family doesn`t really know what to say. This is one of those kinds of depressing things where they don`t really know what to say. They`re praying together and just keeping the message (ph) tight. That`s what they`re doing.

GRACE: Now, the husband is over in Afghanistan, isn`t that right, Peter Byrnes?

BYRNES: He`s over there. He is in the Army, serving our nation. But yes, that`s where he is.

GRACE: Why didn`t she go see him off?

BYRNES: Great question. Don`t know. We would love to know the answer to it.

GRACE: Her mother doesn`t know?

BYRNES: Nobody knows. We would love to -- we would love to know the answer to it. Nobody really knows what the cause of it was.

GRACE: Now, the rest of the family was there to see him off, right?

BYRNES: My understanding -- I don`t know who was there to see him off. I just know that it was noteworthy that she was not.

GRACE: OK. It took three weeks, apparently, since the last sighting of her, for her to be reported missing, Mr. Byrnes. Why?

BYRNES: Well, I think that there`s been a little bit of misinformation that`s gone out there. Bethany sort of had transient communications with various people in her family. And what would happen would be that Bethany would talk to a member of the family -- not an individual, a particular individual, but whoever she felt like reaching at the time. If for whatever reason, someone hadn`t heard from her in a few days, they`d start calling everybody else. It wasn`t unusual for Bethany to go off the grid for a little bit.

Then finally, when enough people hadn`t heard anything and she wasn`t returning calls, the family got concerned. So it wasn`t like there was a three-week delay. It was more like things weren`t adding up, and that`s when the family realized, We might want to do something about it.

GRACE: So what I`m hearing you say, Peter Byrnes, is that she would catch as catch can. She would call home frequently, but she might talk to the mother one day, the brother, then the sister two days later, then back to the mother, then talk to the baby on the phone. And suddenly, they started putting it together, and nobody has heard from her, is that correct?

BYRNES: I think that`s a pretty fair assessment of the way it is.

GRACE: OK. Got it. What, if any, help -- back to Emily Babay with "The Washington Examiner," joining us tonight live out of D.C. What, if any, help, is the husband -- I know he`s over in Afghanistan, so he can`t be too much help, but what is he doing to help?

BABAY: The Loudon County sheriff`s office says that he has been in contact with them. They have spoken to him, and they`re trying to set up some kind of face-to-face on-line communication to get more information from him and anything he might know.

GRACE: What do you mean, they`re trying to get more information? I mean, they can`t -- Skype -- they can`t talk to him? Why do they have -- what do you mean get more information?

BABAY: They`re just trying -- they`re in their investigation, just trying to speak to him. I don`t know what questions they`re going to ask him.

GRACE: They`re trying to speak to him? Alexis Weed, have they not spoken to him? Is he not cooperating?

WEED: No, Nancy, they have spoken with him on the phone.

GRACE: OK.

WEED: But they want to talk to him via video conference, something like that. Police have gone so far as to say that they`d like him to actually come home to the United States to be questioned.

GRACE: Unleash the lawyers, Eleanor Odom, senior attorney with the National District Attorneys Association, Renee Rockwell, defense attorney, Atlanta, Peter Odom, defense attorney, Atlanta.

Let`s go out to D.C. and Eleanor Odom. What`s the problem with him coming home? What`s the holdup?

ELEANOR ODOM, NATIONAL DISTRICT ATTORNEYS ASSOC.: Well, I don`t know, Nancy, if they Army won`t let him. But certainly, while he`s away in Afghanistan...

GRACE: What do you mean, the Army won`t let him?

ELEANOR ODOM: I don`t know if they`ll let him or not. You would think they would. But while he`s in Afghanistan, we have no say over him.

GRACE: Well, hold on. The U.S. Army would probably do what the cops want. My question is, is he not cooperating via Skype, or is he not answering their questions, or is it just simply a bureaucratic nightmare trying to get him home? What do you think, Eleanor?

ELEANOR ODOM: I think it`s probably a bureaucratic nightmare, more along those lines. But also, unless the Army pushes it, the government can`t force him to come home right now.

GRACE: Everyone, you are seeing video from Dvidsshub.net (ph) of missing mom Bethany Decker`s husband. Emile Decker is serving, Afghanistan. What about it? To Paul Penzone, former sergeant, Phoenix PD. It seems to me that the U.S. government could get him home if they wanted to.

PAUL PENZONE, FMR. SGT., PHOENIX POLICE DEPARTMENT: Absolutely. And he should be fighting to get home immediately because the biggest question right now is, Is he the last person to see her alive?

GRACE: Yes. You know what? You hit the nail on the head. Bethany Marshall, you`re the shrink. If my spouse was missing, I`d get a hardship and come home. Why is he sitting on his thumb?

BETHANY MARSHALL, PSYCHOTHERAPIST: And not only that, he looks pretty handy with a microphone and a camera in that tape you`re rolling right now. We know that homicide is the second leading injury-related cause of death for pregnant women, and he is the only one that we know of who would have a motivation to not have this baby around. He`s not taking up the responsibilities of fatherhood right now by calling home and checking on the baby. So why isn`t he taking up the responsibilities of being a husband by coming home and looking for his wife?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: ... the search for a young mother in the woods within walking distance of her Ashburn apartment. Loudon County sheriff`s deputies scoured the tree line and the brush for any signs of 21-year-old Bethany Decker. Her family, all of whom live out of the area, reported her missing 10 days ago, but no one has spoken to Bethany, who is five months pregnant, since a family gathering in Maryland.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everything is under investigation, obviously. We`ve got to look at everything. Our main thing is, we want to locate Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No one has spoken to Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: (INAUDIBLE) very out of the ordinary.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We have a missing person.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No sign that she packed bags.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I haven`t heard from her.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Or had plans to leave.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We`d like to help, you know, the family get reunited. We want to locate Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Bethany was with her husband, Emile, on leave from his Army National Guard deployment to Afghanistan. Emile went back overseas February 2nd. Bethany was in school full-time, close to graduating from George Mason University. Bethany`s car was in the parking lot of her Ashburn complex. Her cell phone, bank account and credit cards have not been used.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Just heartbroken.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Her mother, Kim Nelson (ph), says Bethany was with her husband, Emile, on leave from his Army National Guard deployment to Afghanistan. Emile went back overseas February 2nd. Kim cares for Bethany and Emile`s 17-month-old son while Emile was deployed and Bethany was in school full-time, close to graduating from...

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GRACE: We are taking your calls. Straight out to Nathaniel in Oregon. Nathaniel, you`re in the military, correct? You were in the military until just recently, right?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, ma`am.

GRACE: OK, Nathaniel, what do you have to do to get a hardship? I mean, here`s a guy in Afghanistan, his wife, who is five months pregnant with his child, got his 17-month-old baby boy, Ty, she goes missing. She hasn`t been seen in three weeks, that we know of. It`s just been reported. What does he have to do to come home?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, Nancy, one of the first things that happens is a Red Cross message would be immediately sent to that soldier`s unit. That unit would respond within, you know, depending on where he`s at, if he`s on a FOB or out in sector at some kind of little forward operating base out there -- however, the amount of time it takes for them to get to them is how soon he`d get that Red Cross message. And then the chain of command would go about the measures to have him returned home, if it`s really something like, say, what`s going on right now.

The thing I don`t understand is, if she was missing before he left, each unit has an FRG, a Family Readiness Group. And if she was missing before he left, who was taking care of the 14-month-old (SIC)? And the FRG would not have allowed that soldier to deploy with his spouse missing. There`s no way.

GRACE: Well, what we`re learning tonight is that she`s a full-time student, and while she`s in school, her mother, the baby boy`s grandmother, takes care of him. So they had that base covered. But it`s not clear, was she missing before he left? We know this much, Nathaniel in Oregon. She did not show up at the airport to send him off. There were no hugs and kisses before he got on the plane.

So there`s a Red Cross message, the unit responds, and then if the husband wants to come home under these circumstances, he can?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, it wouldn`t be a matter of if he wants to come home. It would be a matter of -- in a situation like this, he wouldn`t have a choice. And if there`s a chance that he could be a possible suspect, the military would -- they should immediately react. I don`t understand why this soldier`s not being sent home today, right now.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I haven`t heard from her. And this is very out of the ordinary. As soon as he found out that she was missing, he did call. He`s just heartbroken.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Bethany was with her husband, Emile, on leave from his Army National Guard deployment to Afghanistan.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He wants to cooperate fully.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Emile went back overseas.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He is very concerned about Bethany`s whereabouts.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Emile Decker called Loudon County authorities this morning.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: As soon as he found out that she was missing, he did call.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We`ve got to look at everything.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He feels quite helpless being so far away.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Because he did have contact with Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Kim hadn`t heard from Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It`s so hard not knowing anything.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We hadn`t heard from her.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And not being able to reach her.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Our main thing is, we want to locate Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everything is under investigation, obviously. We have a missing person, and we`ve got to look at everything. We`d like to talk to him, as well, and then try to get the opportunity to find out because he did have contact back in January with Bethany. Our main thing is, we want to locate Bethany.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GRACE: We are taking your calls. Why didn`t this Army wife bid her husband good-bye? No hugs and kisses, no waving, nothing. She didn`t take the 17-month-old baby to say good-bye to Daddy? She`s five months pregnant with his child. He is deployed to Afghanistan. She hasn`t been seen, we now believe, in three weeks. Where is 21-year-old co-ed Bethany Decker.

Out to the lines. Bev in New York. Hi, Bev.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi, Nancy. I just love your show.

GRACE: Thank you, Bev. Thank you very much.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What I`m wondering is (INAUDIBLE) that she vanished and then three days later, he goes overseas. Well, if it was my husband missing, I`d make sure that I wouldn`t care what happened to me. I would stay behind to find him. And are they sure that she was pregnant with his baby?

GRACE: You know, both very, very essential questions, Bev in New York. Let`s go back to Alexis Weed. Do we know if she was missing before he was deployed to Afghanistan, number one? From everything I`ve read, it was unclear. And number two, I`m going to ask you again, Alexis. Do we have any indication the 5-month-old baby she was carrying was not his?

WEED: No, no indication at all, Nancy. Reports are that this child did belong to her husband. And also, she went missing, as far as we know - - the reports came in, February 19th, but the last time she was seen was January 29th. We don`t know whether he left before or after she actually really went missing.

GRACE: I`m sorry. You got clipped that last. What did you say, Alexis?

WEED: We don`t know, Nancy, whether she really did go missing before or after he was redeployed to Afghanistan.

GRACE: OK, to Pat Brown, criminal profiler and author of "The Profiler." Weigh in, Pat.

PAT BROWN, CRIMINAL PROFILER: Well, I`m having a problem with the family`s story about her, about Bethany, and the lawyer stumbling all over the place. She was missing for three weeks. The family didn`t call the police earlier? They have problems with her behavior because she must go missing a lot and not even call her son to find out what`s going on. So I think there`s a lot more to this story.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: A search for a young mother in the woods within walking distance of her Ashburn apartment, Loudon County Sheriff`s deputies scoured the tree line and the brush for any signs of 21-year-old Bethany Decker.

Her family, all of whom live out of the area, reported her missing 10 days ago. But no one has spoken to Bethany, who is five months pregnant, since the family gathering in Maryland.

Her mother Kim Nelson says Bethany was with her husband, Emil, on leave from his Army National Guard deployment to Afghanistan. Emil went back overseas February 2nd.

Kim cares for Bethany and Emil`s 17-month-old son while Emil was deployed and Bethany was in school full-time, close to graduating from George Mason University.

KIM NELSON, MOTHER OF MISSING PREGNANT ARMY WIFE, BETHANY DECKER: I haven`t heard from her. And this is very out of the ordinary. As soon as he found out she was missing, he did call. He`s just heartbroken.

(END OF VIDEO CLIP)

NANCY GRACE, HOST: I want to go out to special guest joining us, Vince Dibenedetto, the PIO, Loudon County Sheriff`s Office.

Thank you for being with us, Vince.

VINCE DIBENEDETTO, INVESTIGATOR & PIO, LOUDON CO. SHERIFF`S OFFICE: Yes, ma`am. Good morning.

GRACE: Hi. Have you guys made contact with the husband?

DIBENEDETTO: We have been in contact with him. And we`re going to have further contact with him. We`re working very closely with Army CID officials. They`ve been very cooperative and very helpful to us. And --

GRACE: Good. Vince, when did they -- when did the husband learn his wife was missing?

DIBENEDETTO: I`m not exactly sure when or how. We heard from him sometime the last two days. And he has spoken with our investigators at least once.

GRACE: Now when you say you heard from him in the last two days, you mean he called you when he discovered she was missing, or what?

DIBENEDETTO: I`m not exactly sure the timeline of when he found out and when he was able to make contact.

GRACE: Let`s go to Peter Byrnes, Jr., Bethany`s family attorney and spokesperson.

Peter, when did he discover she was missing?

I think I`ve got Peter Byrnes with me.

Liz, do you have Peter Byrnes, Jr.? OK. Try to re-hook that up. Thanks.

I want to go back to Bethany Marshall, psychoanalyst and author of "Dealbreakers." It seems to me that once he learned his wife was missing, he would come home.

BETHANY MARSHALL, PSYCHOANALYST, AUTHOR OF "DEALBREAKERS": Yes, there`s so many story holes. I mean, he has not really offered so that we can know what was her pattern of contacting him. What would it mean that he hadn`t heard from her in three weeks? Wasn`t he calling to check on the baby?

I would wonder, was he talking to his own relatives about whether or not he was going to be an expectant father?

GRACE: We are taking your calls. Out to Kristen in California. Hi, dear.

KIRSTEN, CALLER FROM CALIFORNIA: Hi. I`m elated. I can`t believe I`m talking to Miss Nancy.

GRACE: Thank you. Likewise. What`s your question, dear?

KIRSTEN: I have a comment and a question.

GRACE: OK.

KIRSTEN: Are you looking forward to the summer with the twins?

GRACE: I am.

KIRSTEN: I know that you hear it often but I want to let you know that -- I have tears in my eyes. I`m a writer, and I (INAUDIBLE) education from you and because of you I`m starting something called Teen 2300 on Bestmoms.com and it`s for the missing. And it is all because of Miss Nancy. Thank you.

My question is, have there been any cell phone calls, any cell phone pings, any credit card purchases, any debit card purchases?

GRACE: Good question. Let`s try Peter Byrnes, Jr. again. The family lawyer and spokesperson.

Peter, have there been -- has there been any cell phone activity, credit card use, ATM, anything?

PETER BYRNES, JR., SPOKESPERSON AND ATTORNEY FOR BETHANY DECKER`S FAMILY: Hi, Nancy, back again. My understanding from the police is, no, there has absolutely not been anything like that.

GRACE: OK.

BYRNES: And that`s what has everybody baffled on.

GRACE: Let me ask you this, Peter Byrnes.

Everyone, Peter is the attorney joining us out of Baltimore, Maryland.

Peter, when do you believe, or when does the family believe the husband first learned his wife, Bethany Decker, was missing?

BYRNES: That`s the hitch. We believe that he learned about it in Afghanistan. The thing is, and I think it`s --

GRACE: Why do you think that?

BYRNES: The one thing I do need -- what`s that?

GRACE: Why do you think that?

BYRNES: Oh. The thing is, Emile, when he first found out about it, made the call to the police, and made an effort to be cooperative. At least that`s our understanding. So, you know, Emile`s -- you know from what we can tell, trying to do his best but we don`t know exactly --

GRACE: Why hasn`t he come home?

BYRNES: -- if he learned here on (INAUDIBLE) or out there in Afghanistan, or what. We don`t know what happened.

GRACE: Well, OK. I don`t understand why he and the family are not on the phone constantly, and why he hasn`t come home.

BYRNES: He`s out in the sticks in Afghanistan. That`s the --

GRACE: So?

BYRNES: So what?

GRACE: So, you know, if you can get there, you can get back. All right? So he made it there. Why can`t he get back to the U.S.? His wife is missing. She`s carrying his baby.

BYRNES: I understand. But not being a commander in the military, I can tell you that they get them there when they can. It`s not his choice, it`s their choice.

GRACE: Let`s go out to Mike Farkas, he is the former active duty JAG officer, military law attorney.

Mike, thank you for being with us tonight. I really appreciate it.

Mike, what is the truth about whether this guy can come home or not?

MIKE FARKAS, FORMER ACTIVE DUTY JAG OFFICER, MILITARY LAW ATTORNEY: My colleague is actually very correct, even though he just pondered a guess at it. It really isn`t a soldier`s decision. It is a command decision. And soldiers really have to be sparing about when they request something called emergency leave, which is what this would encompass.

Because you`re not going to get an indefinite leave, period, and you`re not going to be able to go for casual reasons. Now I`m not -- I don`t mean to suggest that this situation is casual. However, he`s in constant contact, it sounds to me like anyway, with the authorities. He`s doing what he can.

What exactly would he do if he were permitted to come back? He would sit in the house and wait for news, or would he scour the landscape with the search party? There really isn`t anything practical for him to do. And --

GRACE: Well, you know, he does have a 17-month-old child now without a parent, Mr. Farkas. And I don`t know about you, but I would not want an employee working for me, if I were Uncle Sam -- for instance, I don`t know, with a machine gun when his wife is missing. No.

FARKAS: Well, I agree with you completely, Nancy. But you have to understand is that the military is pretty sparing about who they allow -- and you can imagine with the hundreds of thousands of troops that we have, there are requests for emergency leave every day.

GRACE: But you know what, Mr. Farkas? I understand that.

With me is Mike Farkas, military law expert. I hardly think that there are very many men whose wife, the mother of their children, pregnant wife goes missing, that they continue sitting over in Afghanistan. To me, that would be a hardship.

FARKAS: Yes, the question is not, is it a hardship, the question is, can the military operational needs of the time be circumvented to accommodate this soldier? And the answer to me may very well be yes.

A commander may very well let him do this. However, he may be in a situation more likely where they can`t. I mean there have been many cases, you read about it in the "Stars and Stripes" and in other publications about wives going through cervical cancer operations, or on their death beds and not being permitted to leave the unit.

I mean terrible cases, where somebody has been able to go home for a distant relative`s funeral. You know there`s really no -- although it`s all military regulations.

GRACE: Got it.

FARKAS: It`s exactly evenly applied.

GRACE: I got it. I got it.

With me, Mike Farkas.

Unleash the lawyers. Eleanor Odom, Renee Rockwell, Peter Odom.

Renee Rockwell, weigh in.

RENEE ROCKWELL, DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Well, Nancy, I`d be more concern about how he`s reacting to any phone calls as to whether or not he can get himself home. Obviously now that you`ve blasted the military, they`re going to --

GRACE: Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute. I`ll have you know that my father was in the World War. I am not blasting the military.

ROCKWELL: But Nancy --

GRACE: No, no, don`t make me cut your mike. I am referring to him, because I don`t know that he`s even asked for a hardship return home. Do not even associate me with blasting the military. Don`t go there, Rockwell. Don`t even start it up.

OK. Your turn, Odom.

PETER ODOM, DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Nancy, I`m mystified, in all this contact that -- with this man in Afghanistan, why hasn`t he answered the basic question that we`re all striving for? Explain the time between the 29th of January and the 2nd of February. Please explain it.

What was happening? Was she with you? Was she not with you? If she was not with you, I mean we need to know that. And the fact that that hasn`t been coming forward really has left this -- just a huge black hole in the middle of this case. We can`t answer it. It all begins with him.

Now maybe he`s not answering it because he has a reason. And that might shed a different light on the case. But for right now, we can`t go anywhere without the answer to that question.

GRACE: To Dr. Robert Kaufmann, doctor of internal medicine, joining us out of Atlanta, she`s five months pregnant. For those viewers who are not familiar with that state, what is her physical state right now?

DR. ROBERT KAUFMANN, M.D., INTERNAL MEDICINE: Well, she`s going to require a lot of rest, proper nutrition and should be seeing an OB to make sure the baby is growing normally. So you know, I`m sure she`s not keeping her appointments and doing what she`s supposed to, if alive.

GRACE: OK. Rockwell, I`m going to give you another chance. Try to steer it back into the middle of the road.

What is the husband`s position? Now I`ve been told he`s cooperating. He`s certainly not named a suspect at this juncture.

ROCKWELL: Nancy, if he`s in some clandestine space or place and cannot return, that`s one thing. If he`s resisting the return, that`s quite another thing. Although they can`t comment on whether or not he`s testifying and cooperating, his moves speak louder than words, his actions speak louder than words, if he`s not trying to come home.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everything is under investigation obviously. We`ve got to look at everything. Our main thing is, we want to locate Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: No one has spoken to Bethany.

NELSON: Very out of the ordinary.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We have a missing person.

(END OF VIDEO CLIP)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: Bethany was with her husband, Emile, on leave from his Army National Guard deployment to Afghanistan.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He wants to cooperate fully.

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: Emile went back overseas.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He is very concerned of Bethany`s whereabouts.

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: Emile Decker called Loudon County authorities this morning.

NELSON: As soon as he found out that she was missing, he did call.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We`ve got to look at everything.

NELSON: He feels quite helpless being so far away.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Because he did have contact with Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Kim hadn`t heard from Bethany.

NELSON: It`s so hard not knowing anything.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We hadn`t heard from her.

NELSON: And not being able to reach her.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Our main thing is, we want to locate Bethany. Everything is under investigation obviously. We`ve got to look at everything. Our main thing is, we want to locate Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: No one has spoken to Bethany.

NELSON: Very out of the ordinary.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We have a missing person.

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: No sign that she packed bags.

NELSON: I haven`t heard from her.

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: Or had plans to leave.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We`d like to help -- to help, you know, the family get reunited. We want to locate Bethany.

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: Bethany was with her husband, Emile, on leave from his Army National Guard deployment to Afghanistan. Emile went back overseas February 2nd.

Bethany was in school full-time, close to graduating from George Mason University. Bethany`s car was found in the parking lot of her Ashburn complex. Her cell phone, bank account and credit cards have not been used.

NELSON: He`s just heartbroken.

(END OF VIDEO CLIP)

GRACE: We are taking your calls. For those of you just joining us, take a look at this girl, 21-year-old Bethany Decker. She`s the mother of a 17-month-old, she`s a full-time college student. She`s five months pregnant with her husband`s child. And she`s an army wife. Her husband deployed to Afghanistan.

But did he know before he left that she was missing? She wasn`t reported missing for three weeks.

Now, you know, to you, Dr. Robert Kaufmann, you were describing how she may be missing -- put Kaufmann up.

Kaufmann, I don`t -- I guess you`ve -- had a baby, have you, because at five months I was still vomiting every single day. There were nights before I would come onto this show, they would have to put on my makeup with me lying on the floor. I couldn`t even sit up.

And they`d wheel me out here in a wheelchair. I`d get in the chair and they get back in the wheelchair to go to the car. So long story short, I just don`t -- what could she conceivably be going through right now? I mean, I know what I was going through. What could she be going through?

KAUFMANN: Well, you`re absolutely right. I have not had a baby. But she --

GRACE: Good to know, Doctor. Good to know.

KAUFMANN: But she certainly could have symptoms of pregnancy just like you did. But you were carrying twins, which is -- you know, double, so it could be worse.

GRACE: Plus I was old.

KAUFMANN: I didn`t say that. But she definitely has symptoms of pregnancy. I mean, she has to eat very frequently. I mean, I`m sure you had to eat, you know, very -- the whole purpose is, you feel nauseated so you try to eat something, but you may throw it up. So you`re in that position where she`s always feeling --

GRACE: Much less, Dr. Kaufmann, if you get complications. And that baby has to come early.

We`re taking your calls. To Jill in Maryland. Hi, Jill.

JILL, CALLER FROM MARYLAND: Hi, Nancy. Thanks for taking my call.

GRACE: Thank you for calling, dear. What`s your question?

JILL: OK. I have a quick comment and two quick questions.

GRACE: OK.

JILL: First of all, I would consider normal behavior for a babysitting grandmother and a mommy-to-be in daily contact with each other as to how the baby`s doing.

GRACE: I agree.

JILL: That`s my two cents. My two quick questions are. Was baby in the house with mommy and daddy when daddy was home on leave, and when the neighbors saw mommy going in and out of the house, was daddy still at home from leave in that house with her?

GRACE: Good questions all.

JILL: Thank you.

GRACE: To Alexis Weed, first of all, was the baby with the mommy and the daddy while he was home on leave or was the baby still staying with the grandmother?

ALEXIS WEED, NANCY GRACE PRODUCER: We believe the baby was still with the grandmother, Nancy. We understand that the mother would contact -- Bethany would contact the mother to check in about every three days.

GRACE: Every three days. There`s your answer.

Claudine in -- Claudia in Michigan, hi, Claudia.

CLAUDIA, CALLER FROM MICHIGAN: Hi, Nancy. Long time watch. Watch you every night.

GRACE: Thank you, dear. What`s your question?

CLAUDIA: Quick question for you. Do you think that she`s hiding somewhere in hopes that he will get a hardship to come back home so he doesn`t have to be in Afghanistan, (INAUDIBLE) together?

GRACE: I think that`s a great idea. However, here`s the kicker.

Claudia, do you have children?

CLAUDIA: I do.

GRACE: Would you stay away from your child for that long without seeing it?

CLAUDIA: Well, it sounds like she already stays away from her child.

GRACE: You`re right.

CLAUDIA: Her mother watches her.

GRACE: That`s an excellent point, Claudia.

Let`s talk about that possibility. Weigh in, Eleanor Odom.

ELEANOR ODOM, FELONY PROSECUTOR, DEATH PENALTY QUALIFIED: Well, Nancy, it could be. But what I`d also be concerned about is checking her cell phone records, seeing if she has spent money anywhere. I don`t think she`s had, if she`s taken any money out of the bank.

Those things can tell you whether or not she is alive. Because quite frankly, if she`s missing and trying to hide, she`d need the money and need her cell.

GRACE: Peter Odom?

P. ODOM: Nancy, nothing says foul play louder than no cell phone activity and no debit card activity. So foul play has happened here.

GRACE: OK. You`re right. Renee Rockwell?

ROCKWELL: Do the math, Nancy. I don`t know why he has to be the only suspect. I said there`s --

GRACE: Nobody said he`s suspect. I just said he`s not been named a suspect.

ROCKWELL: But we`re talking about him and his actions right now.

GRACE: Well, why didn`t she --

ROCKWELL: Didn`t you hear him say he was heartbroken and he wants to come home?

GRACE: Why didn`t she wave good-bye to him, why didn`t she see him off? And --

ROCKWELL: She might have been studying, may have a test? That`s not him doing something that he`s not supposed to be doing.

GRACE: Put her up. Put her up.

ROCKWELL: If she didn`t have time to go to airport why is that --

(CROSSTALK)

GRACE: When your husband has to jet off to Brazil, you take him to the airport and usually miss the flight because you`re sitting there talking. She`s studying while he`s leaving for Afghanistan? Why did you even say that?

ROCKWELL: Because, Nancy, we`re talking about his actions and we`re not knowing what he`s doing right now.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GRACE: I want to go now straight out to Michael Calhoun, KMOX Radio.

We`re talking about a young 25-year-old bartender that goes missing. Last caught on grainy surveillance video.

Let`s see the video, Liz.

Michael Calhoun, what happened?

MICHAEL CALHOUN, REPORTER, KMOX RADIO: All right. So she disappeared on February 11th, just as the bars were closing. It was 1:07 in the morning. The bar is closed at 1:30. She was leaving a bar in Northern St. Louis County and she was captured on surveillance video with a couple of guys leaving this bar.

Last time that she was seen until this morning at 10:45 where her body was found. About a 10 or 12 minute car ride from that bar. It was found off an intersection of two roads near the Missouri River, near a couple of ball fields. Not a lot of development around there.

GRACE: To Ellie Jostad, our chief editorial producer. Ellie, what are the circumstances surrounding Valerie Butler`s disappearance?

ELLIE JOSTAD, NANCY GRACE CHIEF EDITORIAL PRODUCER: OK. Well, Valerie was out that night. She went to this bar called Gators. There was dancing. It was very crowded.

As Michael explained it was bar time. Everybody was leaving at closing time. She was seen walking out the door with two guys. You see one guy who appears to be with her. It appears he`s holding the door open for him. She walks out behind him. Then a second man is seen walking out.

Now it`s not clear if that guy was with them or if he just happened to be a man walking out the door, you know, right after them. Well, police say both of those men were persons of interest and they`ve been trying to track them down. We`re hearing just before we went to air, Nancy, that the family is hearing that she may have gone to another party with one of those men. That`s where something happened. And as Michael explained, her body found today.

GRACE: And Michael Calhoun, we are now getting reports that a body has been found?

CALHOUN: It was found at 10:45 this morning in a lowlands area near the Missouri River. They`re not calling it a murder investigation. It`s still a death investigation because they`re waiting for that autopsy to come back.

There are a few witnesses who found the body in some brush along the road in -- again near the Missouri River. And police then --

GRACE: OK.

CALHOUN: -- got to the scene and that`s where they found the body.

GRACE: Tip line, 314-831-7000.

Michael Calhoun, KMOX Radio.

Let`s stop and remember Marine Lance Corporal Jeriad Jacobs, just 19, Clayton, North Carolina, killed Iraq. Awarded Purple Heart, Iraq Operational Service medal. Descendant of the Lubi American Indian tribe. Loves skateboarding, BMX biking. Friends. Buried at the family cemetery with sister, Britney. Leaves behind parents Janet and Darrell who served the Marines. Sister Sierra.

Jeriad Jacobs, American hero.

Thanks to our guests but especially to you.

Everyone, I`ll see you tomorrow night, 8:00 sharp Eastern. And until then, good night, friend.

END