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CNN SUNDAY MORNING

Interview With Susan Piver

Aired January 4, 2004 - 07:41   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

ANDREA KOPPEL, CNN ANCHOR: Not quite sure what his New Year's resolutions were, but the New Year is a time for all of us for looking forward, looking back, and making resolutions, and just general naval gazing.
And just in time, author Susan Piver is out with a new book entitled, "The Hard Questions for an Authentic Life." Susan Piver joins us now from Boston.

Happy New Year to you, Susan.

SUSAN PIVER, AUTHOR, THE HARD QUESTIONS FOR AN AUTHENTIC LIFE: Thank you. Same to you.

KOPPEL: What does it mean to live and to have an authentic life?

PIVER: I believe that what it means when you have an authentic life is you've discovered the actual meaning for your personal life. And you've aligned that meaning, your inner values, goals, aspirations with your outer life. There's congruence between your inner life and the outer circumstances of your life, your job, your friendships, your relationships, etcetera.

KOPPEL: You talk in your book about the importance of, rather than relying on others, to ask questions of you, for you to ask questions of yourself. Give us an example of some of the questions to kind of help us along, how you do this?

PIVER: Sure. Yes, we've all read lots of books that tell us other people's ideas of how we can be happy, but really, there's only one person who knows our own answers to life's hard questions. And that's us.

Some examples of hard questions are what are the three most important values I learn from my family of origin? And the three least valuable. And where are those values showing up in my life today?

Who is the best friend of my creativity and aspirations? With whom do I feel my most powerful and gifted self? And some are also very practical, like how much money do I have right now? And how much do I have? Many people can't answer those questions.

KOPPEL: And do you believe that it's important that we're able to -- not necessarily on the debt question, but on some of the others, that we're able to answer those questions right now? PIVER: I think it's important to know whether you can or can't answer those questions is just as, sort of informative, to know what you do know about your life as it is to know what you don't know.

The most important thing is to really ask yourself how you feel and what you think about the key aspects of your life, your work, your family, your friendships, your money, and your spiritual life.

KOPPEL: One of the things I have found, just myself when I've made New Year's resolutions, is sometimes the new year isn't always -- I'm not always able to get going on it. Do you believe that it's important that you do this as the calendar changes? Or is this something that people can pick up, let's say, in July and decide that they're going to? Is -- will it be easier to do at the New Year? Or do you think it doesn't make a difference?

PIVER: I think in some ways, it is easier to do in the New Year. The New Year sort of does lend itself to this sort of reflection and consideration over what we did in the last 365 days and what we hope to do in the next 365 days.

There's a sort of value in doing this process formally, as opposed to half heartedly or when some kind of critical situation arises. So if you actually sit down and really take stock, and of course it can be in July, it doesn't have to be at the turn of the year, but there's a sort of natural tendency to do that anyway, to sit down and take stock of what happened, what you would like to happen, and how you can make this the year that you start living the life that you are here to live. Your life is important. Everyone's life is important. You have gifts to give and things to offer that we need.

And it's important, not just for you, but for the rest of us, that you discover the actual meaning of your life, your personal path. And I'm not saying that my book has -- can help, you know, solve all your problems or get you to do that right away, but I think it provides an okay place to start, a way to really begin taking stock of are you living the life you're meant to live? We're not here for that long. How can we start right away?

KOPPEL: As they say, carpe diem, live for the day. Susan Piver, thank you so much for your tips. And hopefully we gave some folks out there a little bit of inspiration in this new year. Thank you so much.

PIVER: Thank you.

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